Retain The Cocky Writer

Boom, you found a great writer!

Finding great writers is freaking hard. In fact, it’s a downright pain. A long and arduous journey through a sea of sameness. A dark and stormy night of mind-numbing mediocrity. But rejoice, weary traveler. Your search is over.

You found the best kind of writer — a cocky writer. And not just one writer, an entire cocky flock. The best of the best, the cream of the crop, the top of the heap.

So now what? How do you harness this exceptional talent for your brand? How do you make sure they don’t get booked by another company that’s desperate for their skills? How do you get a piece of this before the competition does?

Four words: Retain. The. Cocky. Writer. Read on for all the scoop.

Here's how it works

Step1: Book your kickoff

We’ll get to know you and your brand. We’ll ask a lot of questions, probably too many. What’s more exciting than talking about yourself? Absolutely nothing!

Step 2: Set your retainer

Based on your goals and needs, we’ll recommend a monthly investment that’s just right for you. Cockiness on auto-pilot! Can you handle it?

Step 3: Get great writing

You’ll get a steady stream of superior content. No muss, no fuss, just pure unadulterated cockiness. How did you ever survive without us?

These are the rules

Rule 1: Don’t be a cheap ass

The Cocky Writer is not a bargain-basement operation. We don’t do “discounts” or “deals.” We’re not going to “work with your budget.” You get what you pay for, and if you want the best, be prepared to invest.

Rule 2: Don’t be a pain in the ass

We’re professionals, and we expect you to be too. That means showing up on time for meetings, being prepared, and following through on your commitments. If you don’t, we’ll invoice you for cocky blocking. Not to mention, it’s just rude.

Rule 3: Don’t be an entitled ass

Just because you’re paying us, it doesn’t mean you own us. We have other clients, and you are all VIPs. If you want us to do our best work for you, treat us with respect and stick to reasonable requests. We’ll do the same for you.

Side Note: Our rules were inspired by Willie Nelson's family rules as shared on Brené Brown's podcast.

This is our guarantee

Promise 1: We will wow you

The Cocky Writer doesn’t just meet expectations. We exceed them. Every. Single. Time. We’re not happy unless you’re thrilled. We’ll make it right if you’re not. Guaranteed.

Promise 2: We will be here for you

The Cocky Writer is not flaky or flighty. We’re in it for the long haul. We believe the relationship between client and creative is lasting, and we treat it accordingly.

Promise 3: Your success is our success

We don’t just write words. We aim to help you achieve your goals, whether creating awareness, building authority, or generating demand. When you succeed, we succeed.